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Then, out of nowhere, they text you late at night to stop by their dorm room and chill. They may be attracted to you, but they're clearly not interested enough to put effort into seeing you, so you definitely need to loose their number.Not only is the person you're interested in backing out at the eleventh hour — they're listing 2-3 excuses for why they need to cancel, like they're grounded, and their mom is mad at them, and they didn't realize they had a paper due.Guys will drop anything if it becomes too hard, in New York especially, no matter how attractive it initially was.I usually save the 'I don't think this is a match' for someone suggesting a second date after an unenjoyable first.I'm a huge bitch and that is why I am single."Monica, 28 "I am SPINELESS when it comes to turning down guys.To the point where, when one guy asked me out on a second date that I was not interested in going on, I typed out a very nice 'You're great, but I don't think we're right for each other' text message to reply with and then proceeded to continually stare at it but not actually send the thing—until finally too much time passed and I had just ghosted on him by default.So instead of saying no, I usually just say nothing." Charlize, 30 "When a guy asks me out on a date in person and I want to decline, I usually say that I'm in a relationship. I just think there's no constructive aspect to being honest about why you're saying no in the initial encounter they've approached you in the right (respectful) way. However, given the gift of the scenario in which some asshole tries to do it, I relish in every opportunity for the public takedown.Then comes the all-too-familiar scenario of meeting someone—whether it's over the Internet or in person—and being initially attracted enough to exchange numbers, then being turned off for whatever (read: any) reason.
Part of it is wanting to avoid confrontation, for sure, and feeling guilty about being mean, but I also feel like I suck at dating/meeting people and therefore give myself a hard time for wanting to shoot down an interested party, however politely.Highly recommend, though effects on karma remain unknown."Sarah, 28 "During my tenure on the NYC dating scene I practiced the "long, slow good-bye" with reckless abandon. Irrespective of my favor toward the "long, slow good-bye" method, I probably wouldn't recommend it to anyone new to the dumping scene.If you're not familiar, a "long, slow good-bye" is a strategically and subtly reduced frequency of contact. My reasoning is equally as selfish as the method itself: The "long, slow good-bye" is followed by an ominous feeling of guilt and self-contempt if you have even a morsel of a conscience.In person, your crush is amazing, but when you try to have a real conversation with them over text, somehow, things always seem to turn to sex.
What It Means: At first it's flattering when the person you're talking to asks you ~sexy questions~ or implies that they're into you You've been texting your crush and they've made it seem like they're down to hang out, but when you try to nail down an actual time and place, they leave you on read.
I recognize that I'm the worst and it's so rude—and personally, I'd much rather have someone just be straightforward with me and tell me he just doesn't want to see me anymore, but...."Rowena, 28 "If it's only been two or three dates (I try to give everyone a second chance unless they're truly terrible), I usually just say I'm really busy and ghost.