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He was attracted to women sexually and often said that if he could find a women to "service him" the way the men who paid him did, he would be less inclined to have men do it.
We also learned that, for Josh, directing women and guiding them verbally and otherwise was his way of being in control of receiving oral sex.
Josh said he was not gay and insisted that he couldn't tell the women about these experiences or they would judge him harshly as being gay or bisexual.
As an older teenager, Josh realized that both men and women were attracted to him.
Over time this man offered Josh more money if Josh would let him masturbate while watching Josh.
Ultimately he asked if he could see Josh naked and, later, if he could perform fellatio on Josh, with no reciprocation.
He was aroused by being in charge and a bit dominant during oral sex.
Knowing this helped Josh recognize the importance of telling women his sexual interest in taking some control during oral sex. It is not necessarily the straight men who have sex with men who have a problem but everyone who judges them.
But the fact is that many men -- gay, straight and bisexual -- can be sexual with the same sex or the opposite sex if money is involved. Most people, however, think that if a man engages in sex with another man for ay reason, he cannot be straight.
Straight men who have sex with men are punished by the prejudices and stigma attached to the act, with people judging them to be gay when they are not.
Anything seen as non-masculine in a man (and gay sex is seen as non-masculine in our culture) is deemed "effeminate" or "gay" and is punishable under patriarchal standards.
Straight men even direct this homophobia at themselves for engaging in sexual behavior with other men, and the results can be brutal.
Gay men are often the most critical of these men, believing that they are closeted gay guys who need to come out.
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